Overcoming Anger

Anger is a negative emotion. It not only brings negative energy, it also drains positive feelings and thoughts from your life. Actually anger is not really a top tier emotion, it is simply a by-product. The true feeling is sadness, which manifests itself as anger. It may be sadness over not being treated properly or not feeling close to someone, it may be sadness that your life is not going the way you want it to go, it may be loneliness or fear. If you want to overcome the feelings of anger you may have in your life, it's important to first recognize what you are really feeling. Get to the root of the problem.

Once the real feeling has been identified, you can find new ways to either face things or get new strategies for coping. For example: I have a good friend who has been mistreated by someone else. It makes me angry. So I look at the real emotion -- sadness. I'm sad that the person who has mistreated my friend has judged incorrectly and is not willing to re-evaluate the situation. I'm sad because my friend does not deserve to be treated badly. I'm sad because I'm put in a situation that is not comfortable and takes energy. Okay, now I recognize all of the reasons I'm angry. What am I going to do about it? Well, if I analyze the circumstances I recognize the great value of my friend and that the other person is in the wrong. I cannot do anything to change anyone, I can only deal with myself -- so I can give up the desire be in control of the situation. I can allow myself to feel sad for the person who has misjudged and the circumstance, and then I can let it go. It really does not need to be something I should carry because it's not about me. Then I can try techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, exercising, etc.

Overcoming anger takes effort, and recognizing the true emotion behind the anger is the first but most important step.